Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparently you make a good broom.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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