So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
