i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize