my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
