ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
