So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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