and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
