ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize