I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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