I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
