I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
