He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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