It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
