Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
