I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
