Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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