how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
