goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
