Ambien. No doubt about it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's like iHOP with fire
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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