she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
