I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
