eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
