Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
True strength comes from lack of pants
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