she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
