my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
