he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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