She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize