just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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