happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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