fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
