I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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