I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
