He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
