There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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