Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
