Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
