I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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