actually, I'm a sock model
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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