Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
