I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
