I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize