CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
