ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize