They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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