He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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