Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
