We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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