i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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