what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
