Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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