do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize