i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
