guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
