I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
