And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
