okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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