she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
