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her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
please don't ironically join a cult
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