I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
