By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
