i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize