absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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