I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You were trust falling into bushes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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