Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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